Ever since that “one guy” wrote that “one book” about those “5 love languages” it seems that everyone (well at least those analytical people who are coveting romance) is talking about them.

I'm not sure that I give a damn about the book in question but if I did have to identify my love language, it would be that I feel loved when I feel that I have been understood.

This of course rarely happens which is probably why I'm so ticked all the time. (Please do.....feel sorry for me now).

But hear me out: I understand that understanding comes hard and that it's difficult to explain a process that leads to understandability. In fact, if I were to explain to myself how to “understand” another person's point of view or experience I wouldn't know exactly where to start.

http://www.dharmaconsulting.com 

I might say the following to myself but it probably wouldn't be conclusive:

1. Identify my own intentions before trying to understand someone else. If I am just associating with this person because I want to get laid or because I want him or her to buy something then I should most likely a) consider the value of other human beings and b) get another job.

2. Listen to the person I am trying to understand, restate what he or she is saying and then ask questions to clarify their responses.

3. Think of incidents in my own life that come as close as possible to helping me feel what I think he or she is feeling, but don't start talking about myself.

4. Then, just feel what he or she is feeling. (Essentially this is the most important step. Take for example children. Many children can naturally feel the pain of other humans and other animals and they aren't afraid to show it. That's one of the reasons why it's so healthy to be with children).

5. Vocally thank the person for sharing what they've shared.

Even if this process doesn't totally work it seems to me to be much better than just telling people whatever is in your head at the time (i.e, like clichés and commandments). Right?

Of course this entire process is very inconvenient and probably not worth the valuable time of human beings who have better things to do (i.e, like getting laid and selling things). In addition, there is also the stupid and miserable downside that the process also requires that people actually want to understand other people which honestly is a rarity as far as my limited experience goes.

Am I right or am I right?